Minnage àTrois

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Now I ask you, who in bloggerville could possibly resist the opportunity to use that snarky headline? So when I heard on a Fargo talk radio station this morning that Jesse "The Body" Ventura was running for Senate, according to NPR, the ol' wheels started spinning.

Of course, by the time I got back home, the story, which was spreading faster than the Big Sur fire, was already on ABC's Political Punch and being knocked back down by Jesse, who said not even his wife will know before Tuesday's deadline whether he's jumping into the fray against Norm Coleman and Al Franken.

So what is it? The media are flip-floppers? Or Jesse is?

Jesse's got issues with the two candidates in the fray. Al Franken, says he, is a carpetbagger and a political opportunist... hmmm, wonder if he said that from his casa de Mexico where he pretty much decamped away from Minnesota after his single term as governor. And how much credit does the tax-slashing, surplus-draining former governor want to take for the condition of the highways and byways—and bridges—of Minnesota these days?

Speakin' of highways, apparently Franken hasn't yet discovered there are gosh-darned voters and media north of Hwys. 10 and 200.

Jesse doesn't mince words about Coleman either. Points out that Nahmie has never held a job out in the real world since he signed on to government as an assistant attorney. Always lived off the public, says Jesse. And Nahmie voted for the Iraq war, right in lockstep with you-know-who.

So, if that's your criteria, Jesse, why aren't you running against McCain? The mediocre-student, crash-five-planes flyboy who cracks up himself with jokes about bomb-bomb-bombin' and death-by-tobacco has always lived off the government dole. Well, except for Cindy's gazillions, of course.

No wonder McCain doesn't understand basic economics. Like how Social Security works. Or what the price is at the pump.

At first I was dismayed by the prospect of Jesse in the Senate. But a younger Sunshine pointed out to me he couldn't do any more harm than who's there now.

And at least when the Senate and Congress take on all the trappings of pro wrestling—sturm und drang, kabuki, theatre of the absurd [FISA eff-up, anyone?]—there'd be one authentic pro wrestler in the mix. And who knows, maybe he could bring their poll ratings up out of single digits.
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